By Evans Dakwa
As we wound up women’s month , one of the challenges facing women in Zimbabwe and probably across the continent and the rest of the world is Gender Based Violence (GBV) .In the face of GBV, a disconcerting pattern emerges within society, an inclination to remain silent, to look away, and to withhold intervention until tragedy strikes. It is perplexing why society chooses to be by standers and accessories to the commission of GBV, only for conscience to awaken after a grievous act has taken place, prompting us to finally speak out against the scourge of GBV especially in the marital setup.
What is disheartening is, it’s not only society but the victims themselves who struggle to untangle themselves from abuse relationships. Cases of people being brutalised and even killed by their partners have become normal, but why does the abused hold on to something that is clearly a trauma in their life in some instances for years?
In this era where literature, practical examples, counselling is readily available to people why do we still have this challenge alive among us?
I spoke to a Blogger and development practitioner, Tatenda Unika Kombora, seeking answers to some the questions surrounding why society is apportioning itself the tag of being by standers as GBV incidences increase under our watch with dire consequences in some cases.
“It’s because we know the people, sometimes we have known them for a long time, and some are people we have raised. And because you know the person in and out, and that there is no person who is out rightly evil or good. Because one knows a certain part of them that is good, they refuse to believe they can be a monster , believe they can get worse, the thinking is if you just talk to them , they will change and avoid escalation,” said Unika
“It’s in almost everyone that you want to believe the best about the people you know and love, you refuse to believe that there is some sort of evil in them, there is an inclination to always believe they will change even if the facts show otherwise.It is my belief that this is the primary reason why intervention is difficult and they society become bystanders and only act after something has happened., she added.
Director for Mwanasikana Wanhasi, Opportunity Makanga believes society, cultural norms and values make it difficult for victims of GBV to easily come out
“Some people never find support from family and attempts to find support is met with encouragement to soldier on. Then other people do have support but they won’t because they have developed the “Stockholm syndrome”, she said.
Stockholm syndrome is a proposed condition or theory that tries to explain why hostages sometimes develop a psychological bond with their captors. It is supposed to result from a rather specific set of circumstances, namely the power imbalances contained in hostage-taking, kidnapping, and abusive relationships.
Gender-Based Violence (GBV) presents a disheartening reality that persists in our societies; the inclination to remain silent and withhold intervention until something bad happens is a worrying. As the curtain closes on women’s month, it is our collective responsibility to put an end to this scourge threatening to tear our societal fabric and families apart.